Heart Break In Transit
When I’m away
Smear a lipstick kiss on old love notes
When I’m away
Kill the night twice as hard and carve into the flesh of a bathroom wall
When I’m away
Pull flower pedals from the brow of Dolores
When I’m away
Imagine me a camera and bare your beautiful fangs
When I’m away
Hold my ghost against your chest and let me dream inside your heart
As the wheels on the earth spin
As the limbs of the desert thumb for a lift
As a nameless town counts the rings on it’s neck
Point my love westward
When I’m on the run
Bleeding long distance
When I’m on the run
I break my spine to bless the sunken ships
When I’m on the run
Counting horrors one by one
75mph against the glass insect grave
All the miles crucify
So send me a prayer
Send me a kiss
Send me every part of you so I can feel like home
Alarm
The lonesome caress inside the gut-rot core
5:45 AM
step into old shoes and the good morning kiss of anxious pessimism
as the junkie tears are thrown from the windshield
the street whispers
not a song not a message
she whispers the void
lungs fill and then blacken
somewhere burning
in the casketeria of noon
the stabbing realization
no way out
saw dust dirt cash-register cha-ching
stray bullets
roll the fucking credits with the names of every dead love
lungs fill and then blacken
up on two wheels
After School Special
In the glue-huffing era of my preteens
hiding in the empty dumpster of a middle school parking lot
drinking mad dog 20/20
I got a head full of trash
My sugar soaked brain felt like the torn pages of a porno rag
stolen away and kept alive only by the bedroom-eyes
gag-fed cough syrup through a saliva blind-fold
I was wishing deep and foolishly into a day-dream
Thinking for a moment I was alone but no such luck
Beside my frail stack of bones stood a 20 year old high school student who called himself “poncho”
Poncho was half white-trash and half Puerto Rican
That’s what he said anyway
heavy-set and dressed something along the lines of a homeless person auditioning for a spot on Soul Train
More dirty than bright
like when a traffic cone get’s the splash of autumn mud
after 4 PM the school yard became druggy turf for vagrants and step children of the city
periodically a beat-up Mazda rice rocket would roll through the parking lot
driven by an acne covered transvestite with a leery mustache man in the passenger seat
Poncho would finger a quick peace sign and get in without saying goodbye
not today though
Buried inside my nervous pleasure
I tipped it back and watched the glass lady drain
A slow wet ruby red kiss down my throat then I handed her over
Poncho liked to talk
mostly in a rhetorical fashion
He spun nonsensical bull-shit like a retarded spider-webbed algorithm that made less and less sense with every sip of the juice
If I read into it now
I would have guess he was trying to say something about the more primal aspects of humanity
but who the fuck knows
” that’s why, when bitches bend over, their pussy’s go to the backs of them”
he said
His manifesto began to crescendo and I looked rather frantically for the day dream I had misplaced
I rolled my eyes back to find it
It was half-eaten by the time I found it but good enough so I swallowed it whole
Then I was interrupted again
A microphone voice echoed
It cut through the static painting I had been drilling into a smokey ghost
I popped my head over the filth-caked green of the metal box
In slow paranoia my eyes met the mouth of the sound
It was an ice-cream truck that had been converted into a campaign promotion vehicle
through a top mounted megaphone a voice yelled
” (someone or other) for mayor! “
My self the serpent
I slithered back down into the waste box
Looked at him and then down at my duct-taped sneakers
In that moment
All my day-dreams died
and the only thing I could comprehend
The only thing I knew for sure
Is that nobody I knew personally would ever become president of the United States
My father the anti-poet
” I
must
be
half
autistic
because
I say
Whatever’s
on my mind
when it’s
on my
mind.
It just
comes out”
Fail
My relationships fail
just as the matchbook drops all it’s leaves and let’s the black paint spill
My relationships fail
when Sunday’s rose pedal sidewalk is the last place I ever want to be
My relationships fail
when Friday is no longer in their possession
My relationships fail
inside the buzz-saw seizure of anti-love anthems
My relationships fail
when the wife-slapping ramble of my father becomes a half truth
My relationships fail
when the levy breaks on a lashing tongue and the words flood
My relationships fail
because flowers die
My relationships fail
when I break my own heart out of boredom
My relationships fail
because even the truth can become a lie if you stare at it long enough
My relationships fail
because I don’t equate materialism with maturity
My relationships fail
because solitude can feel better than harmony
My relationships fail
when I set sail unto the black-tar sea
My relationships fail
under the vacant dial tone of echoes through the guts of a nomad
My relationships fail
as she puckers her lips and puts it on again
My relationships fail
inside the swollen and burgundy flesh
My relationships fail
in tune with the broken clock clockwork of the blood-spit valve
My relationships fail
when they realize that even the strongest and most sincere love can’t tame
My relationships fail
inside the last kiss just before dusk
My relationships fail
as the bastard beaten claws close the door and never look back
Dream Thief
Thought I saw you today
Saw your face in the flash of a cafe window
Stumbling over hot cement
Skipping cracks as the cars came in and out of song
I knew it wasn’t real but I kept on just so you could brush my hand away
There’s a pulse that’s felt by few
The moon’s the sun on this burning fuse
As the corporate billboards hang the Monday noose
Metal doors slam the dream back out of focus
No use for a dream when they bare their teeth
No use for a dream and the labor bell screams
No use for a dream and she invites you to die
No use for a dream so your skin fades in autumn
Save yourself a grudge and hold it in your teeth
Save yourself a song and lock it in your skull
Save yourself a scar and wear it like a gun
When every ounce of ocean falls from the sky
When the flood reaches for your limbs
You can float on every dead dream
